The unwritten rules of Restaurants!

This one won't be as long as my first, since you guys+gals are, fro the most part, pretty well acquainted with restaurant etiquette, but there's still some things that happen almost every time i go out to eat... So to make sure you guys know, here are a few unwritten rules of Restaurants!

This part is for the staff, not many rules, but a few.
1. I shouldn't have to explain why this is one, and I can't believe i have to say this, but... Don't eat any of the food..
2. If you go to the restroom, wash your hands even more thoroughly than if you weren't waiting tables/cooking.

This part is for the customers.
1. Chew with your mouth closed, nobody wants to be eating their delicious. uh, burger? and suddenly hear from the booth next to them, the sounds of your chewing. like seriously. it's gross.
2. Do not talk while you are eating, also gross.
3. If you do decide to leave a tip, make sure your tip is AT LEAST 50 cents. any tip less than that is considered a sarcastic tip, or a false tip. where you say their service was only worth a quarter or so.
4. When your drink gets low, don't use the straw anymore. Take off the lid, if there is one, and drink it w/o the straw. The slurp of an almost empty cup is so annoying.
5. If you have a small child with you, bring something for them to do. So many times will I be indulged into my succulent taco, and have the moment ruined by "MOOOOOOOOOOOOM, WHERE'S MY CRAAAAAAAAYONS. WAAAAAA". I know we all feel this way.
6. This one may be the most important, and it's that when you talk to your friends/family in the booth, keep it at a normal talking volume. Make it so, if they're 5 feet away from you, they can hear you, but past that you can't be heard, or you're basically whispering.
7. Don't piss in the soup!
Thank you for reading my blogs :O